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Developing a Fight Winning Attitude

In my years of training and fighting, I have discovered that most fights are lost for one very simple reason: hesitation. The person being attacked either does not react fast enough or is less willing to use violent force than the attacker. A bad guy who attacks you has no problem hurting you… but are you willing to protect yourself by hurting him or her?

This even happens in law enforcement. Some officers end up getting killed because they are so worried about the legal and public ramifications of their actions and decisions, instead of worrying about the situation at hand.

The Importance of Developing a Fighting Attitude

Learning self defense and street fighting skills is a huge part of ensuring that you are victorious in a fight, but let me tell you, your attitude and mindset are even more important.

You see, when most of you law abiding and courteous citizens are attacked, you don’t know how to react. This is because you don’t use violence in your daily lives, it is foreign to you. In fact, most people are downright uncomfortable with violence (as they should be). I am not advocating that people should have a natural violent streak. Where would this world be if THAT was the case? But you have to learn how to turn it on if needed and be willing to be violent also. I can tell you that it is not easy to hurt someone that you do not even know unless you have a good reason to of course.

As far as violence is concerned, this is where criminals have a huge advantage. They are used to being violent because they survive off of violence and they are very good at scaring you into giving them what they want at the threat or use of a little violence.

I grew up on the South Side of Chicago, and I knew people like this. Hell, I was like this at one time. When you see violence on almost a daily basis, and that is all you know, it is easy to inflict it upon others. Most of you don’t live like that. Because of my upbringing, a law enforcement and military career only made sense to me. They became legal outlets for the violence I was used to. I thrived on it.

So, when it is easy for someone used to violence to use it, it is hesitation on the “normal” person’s part that causes someone to lose a street fight. This is even a problem for those of us who are comfortable with the thought of using violence to protect ourselves and our families.

This is why your simply knowing self defense and how to use violence will not save your ass in a real street fight. Knowing how to poke someone’s eye out with your finger and really doing it is very different. I even shared with you the story about the time I dislocated a guy’s finger so fast and easy that it made me shout out in surprise.

There are really two kinds of hesitation. The first kind is that you simply don’t act soon enough. For example, you will probably think to yourself “I’m not going to hit first.” And get knocked out when the person used to being violent sucker punches you. Some of you will simply refuse to accept the fact that a fight is coming until you get hit, ending with the same result: YOU GET KNOCKED THE HELL OUT!

Don’t be that guy (or girl). Don’t get me wrong I’m not suggesting that you turn into a loose cannon, but if you feel threatened or you get that little twinge in your stomach (I call this my spider sense tingling) that is telling you “somethin’ ain’t right” you must act immediately, without hesitation.

Let me take a moment to explain a little life lesson to you. Patience is only a virtue when you are dealing with your spouse, your child, or the DMV. Patience, which is often hesitation in disguise, will not serve you well in most areas of life, especially not in a fight. Your taking action puts you in control of the situation. Control is good, especially when you are talking about control over your life to SAVE YOUR LIFE.

My advice to you is to act…don’t react.

Practical Applications of a Fighting Attitude

Okay enough with the philosophical stuff. Let’s get practical.

If you are in a situation and you know you are going to have to fight, you MUST be the first to hit because by doing so you are statistically much more likely to win the fight. Enough said!

The second type of hesitation is more common for people who have martial arts or self defense training. This kind of hesitation causes people who ‘know better’ to get hurt and killed in street fights every year.

I’m talking about the scale of violence. Many trained martial artists will lose street fights because they fail to bring enough violence into the fight. They know what to do, but they just can’t bring themselves to do it.

They are comfortable with the thought of using vicious moves, and if you asked them if they would eye gouge someone who was threatening their life they would say ‘hell yeah’. But as I mentioned before…easier said than done. You see, reality sets in when these martial artists have to put that thought into action. The thought of doing an eye gouge is a lot different than the act of plunging your thumb into the eye socket of someone threatening your family.

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When it comes down to it, they are afraid to hurt someone who is trying to hurt them. This is the absolute worst reason to lose a fight. If you don’t know how to fight and you get your butt kicked in a street fight you can’t really be criticized. But, if you do know how to fight and you just failed to be mean and nasty enough to win you will get no sympathy from anyone who is experienced with street fighting or self defense.

The key is that once you engage a person who you know has no regard for your health and safety, you must return the favor. As the old cliché goes, you must fight fire with fire. In a fight, I will do whatever it takes to win and survive, and that includes biting your ear off if I have to. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to win. The only thing that will stop the bad guy is his realization that you are willing to do terrible things to him (stuff like snapping all the ligaments in his knee, blowing out his ear drum with an ear slap, or biting out a chunk of flesh) to win as well.

Showing him that you are willing to use nasty street fighting moves will make your wallet suddenly much less valuable to him. Criminals may be mean, cruel, and heartless but they aren’t stupid enough to lose an eye over a wallet. It all comes back to that fight winning attitude. What are you willing to do to protect yourself?

I am willing to use whatever means necessary. I hope you feel the same way.

If you do feel this way, your fighting mindset should be as follows:

If someone tries to hurt me, I am going to immediately use the most savage and violent force I know to eliminate the threat to my life. It’s as simple as that. A fighting mindset doesn’t require meditation or hours of training. It requires you making a conscious decision and promise to yourself that you will take the necessary action to save your skin.

Click here for more self defense instruction from Derek Smith

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55 thoughts on “Developing a Fight Winning Attitude”

  2. You are so right on with this – I have seen it time and again – I have only personally been in this position a couple times but it was quickly understood I have no limits in these situations – don’t wait or you may be bait

    Reply

  3. Yeah,
    The problem is we train not to hurt our sparing partners by going lightly or avoiding high probability injury areas. Worst yet law enforcement employ the use of escalated force as a standard. I’m not so sure what the solution is. These days I’m of the opion that the only way one should train is full force on a dummy, Also the “Red Man” protective suit does not protect the wearer against a joint break or throw which are all good things you should be practicing. Training not to cause an injury is a good thing for your training partner, but is bad training for being in a real fight.

    Reply

  5. Constant training with endless repetition, in a real world situation, will build the fighting spirit. If you don’t keep up the training, you won’t win.

    Reply

  6. The most valuable thing in life, is life. And, one must decide, to what extent, you are willing to go, if ever faced with a life or death situation. It’s basic, primal instincts. A valid reminder of the most important equipment in your arsenal.

    Reply

  7. Very true article enjoyed it when I was younger I had lost several boxing matches because of this exact reason I knew what to do n was the better fighter but lost like 4 matches because I was intimidated by my opponents reputation which was bigger n better than he actually was.

    Reply

  8. You choose the time and place, with no witnesses! If the fight lasts longer than 12 seconds, you both lose.

    Reply

  10. Great stuff! Advanced Brown belt in TaeKwonDo in my 70’s. Don’t train as often as had a hip replacement recently.
    It is called invading my personal space. If I don’t know your intent in violating my space, no hesitation. Game on! As lethal as I can be as quick as I can be. Mission: Put the invader down with one strike!!
    Cleve

    Reply

  12. Agreed. Good points. You must be willing to knock the bad guy onto his wallet so he forgets why he wanted yours.

    Reply

  15. Yes this is me I’m not able to fight much and I know I have to do perment damager or bring death to a guy if I fight as I have a bad heart but I can’t bring myself to seriously hurt so done I don’t have that cold of a heart must learn to break this and fight back to really hurt or worst to this guy but how

    Reply

  16. Speed. Surprise. Violence of action. Never fight fair in a fight. Fight so that you’re the person walking away and not bleeding out on the ground.

    Reply

  17. Hello Derek,

    You are 100% right. As a small boy, it wasn’t until I learned to be mean & strike back did the bullying stop.

    In combat, you win only if you strike first, as the level of aggression goes way up!!!

    In the street, most of the problems I see is that hesitation always leaves you reacting, not acting.

    Thanks for the reminder!

    Reply

  19. Derek I love what you just said. That willingness to bring everything you have to destroy an opponent to me is more important than training. When I was in the military we trained in a very unofficial manner called, ‘SDV’ Sudden Deadly Violence. The staff sgt. who started and trained us in this used to say ” the battlefield is just not on the battlefield “.

    Reply

  20. Thanks and I agree if a fight is imminent I will use whatever means necessary to walk away. I will use my teeth or whatever is available in order to walk away. Unfortunately I have had to use these tactics in a fight for my life.

    Reply

  21. I hear you brother and agree fully. My martial arts background has immensely help me in my career as a police officer, as well as other forms of tactical training. Our job is get to get home safe to our families after preserving life and providing protection for the public.

    Thanks for your information!

    Reply

  22. Just read this article and it is spot on. Most of us non-violent people will get our arses tanned because we hesitate. Personally, I am working on it and hope my attitude is correct when the inevitable happens.

    Reply

  25. I didn’t think about reacting like this when I was threatened. My fear is escalating the situation unnecessarily and causing a fight . I don’t want to take a first punch nor do I want to get socked and not see it coming. My second thought is turning a punch from an aggressor into a stab or shot. Now that being said. Too much thinking is taking place while I get I to a bad situation. Shouldn’t flashing a firearm get you out or in deeper. Well I like the fact I’m thinking ahead of being a victim. Your thought process is very reassuring. Thank you very much, you may have kept me safe and perhaps alive.

    Reply

  27. Thanks for the down to earth reality of violent intent, and the commitment to do what it takes to survive a violent encounter.

    Reply

  28. Thank You Very Much, for reminding Me!
    I TOO lived on the south side, learned to fight the hard way.
    Luckily Omaha had good schools and boys clubs to teach well.

    Reply

  29. Still, it is just a theory for a common man. Even tough guys, who are frank enough to acknowledge it, are not sure how they will behave in an extreme situation.

    Reply

  31. Bob, thanks for the great and necessary advice.
    One has to develop a mindset and play the mantra, ” The One who hesitates Loses!”

    Reply

  32. Great advice! I am an army ranger and when I was younger loved to fight. But the more training I received the more I realized that these are the tactics I would need to use in order to keep winning. My best advice… avoid putting yourself or your family in bad situations. And alcohol is the enemy!

    Reply

  35. Excellent advice! Very well said. Going from training to real world situation really is a mind set adjustment. Every one should memorize the last paragraph of this article.
    Thanks

    Reply

  37. YOU ARE SO RIGHT-ON ON THIS ARTICLE. MOST OF US ARE NOT PREPARED TO RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU ARE ATTACKED OR BEING ATTACKED BECAUSE WE ARE TAKING CARE OF THINGS AT HOME/WORK. IT TAKES A COUPLE OF SECONDS TO REALIZE ONE HAS BEEN ATTACKED. DO NOT HESITATE. DO ANYTHING TO YOUR ATTACKER, HIS CAR, HIS HANDS, HIS FEET, HIS JOINTS. WHATEVER COMES TO YOUR MIND INCLUDING CALLING THE COPS, TAKING LICENSE PLATES NUMBERS, ETC.

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  38. Derek, you are spot-on with your advice,once again. He who hesitates is lost…or has lost. Thanks.

    Reply

  40. Motion seconded I am the Reaper and as the patch states God will judge them we’ll arrange the meeting by any means necessary. So kick ass who cares about a name and I’m Keep to my code N.M., N.S., N.R. Thanks for the reminder violence might not be the best option but it is on the table.

    Reply

  41. Great Article. Great Advice. I have always thought this. If someone is out to hurt me, my family, or friends I would do whatever it takes for our safety and to be able to go home or protect our home. Thank You!
    I would not have time to worry about the ramifications if I know someone is going to hurt me.

    Reply

  42. Myself, coming from a 68-year-old compassionate, sympathetic, loving father and husband and also a martial artist of 43 years, degreed in multiple styles, this article is smack dab on target. I can tell you from experience that the switch needs to be flipped immediately when the situation calls for. No thinking about it, to do whatever it takes to win is the only solution.
    Your articles are much appreciated.

    Reply

  43. This is one of Ur best inform
    ative messages received yet.

    Master Rex- One of the tough
    est issues 4/new military re
    cruits in basic training is learning how 2/kill. It takes longer than I/16 weeks just 2/
    overcome the mind blockage
    U have been taught, learned and accepted.

    While Ur student, one through ly enjoyed Ur classes, how
    ever, never learned 2/rekindled the life saving technique of vaporizing, i.e., terminating one’s opponnet.

    It was only after a couple of confrontations did my mind kick-in w/this skill …

    Somehow, someway U need
    2/develop ways in which Ur older/senior students shall grasp the importance this concept. Further, U need 2/relate the 2/”great feeling” of those comments from the arresting officer, when he fin ally arrives, and asks those meaningful words, “did U do
    all this?”

    The positive feelings of gradit
    ute are his simple laugh and a smile.

    My plans, after knee surgeries and reconditioning of my heart & breathing techniques, is 2/return 2/Ur training class
    2/improve myself.

    Fyi, Pat

    Reply

  48. Bravo Bob maybe with the work you do like this some of the american sheep will listen and stop being victims. The weak ones are easy to spot for predators.. Listen to Bob and matbe that wolf will think twice about attacking you………..

    Reply

  49. I’m 82 years old and feel very vulnerable, especially when driving, as there are so many road-ragers where I live. Twice, in the past 2 years, I’ve been cut off and forced to a stop by young punks who wanted to start something. In once case, I managed to back up and go around him and take off. I accelerated to 50 in 25 MPH zone to get away and he did not pursue. In the second case, the guy tried to smash my driver’s window, but his girlfriend/wife grabbed him and got him to back off. I have one of your weapons and had either road-rage man smashed my window (I keep my car locked while driving) I would have used the weapon. The scary thing is–I live in California, a very upside-down, sideways state where they love to prosecute even the underdogs. I know, for certain, that if I sliced up the face or arms of a bad guy reaching into my car, I’d be charged with the crime. Anyone with a weapon who physically strikes someone first in California is the perpetrator. Thus, if a guy reached in and grabbed me by the throat and I sliced open his arm, I’d likely be the one to get charged. I’d still do it, but laws here are very discouraging, compared with “stand your ground” laws.

    Reply