Hey, it’s Jimbo here, on behalf of the entire crew, (all of whom have fled the building and are now sheltering-in-place inside their own hovels), bringing you the latest scoop on coronavirus.

This riveting episode is about wearing masks.

No… not like that cool Trump Halloween mask, (which, by the way, sold like hotcakes way back in the heady days before this bug took over all our lives)…

…I’m talkin’ about face-masks to protect you from coronavirus, (which shockingly are now in higher demand than even that awesome Trump mask was back in October).

Because here’s the thing, (yes, there’s a thing): When it comes to face masks, the CDC, the WHO, and the Surgeon General have been force-feeding you, and the rest of the American public, a steady diet of baloney.

And not the good Italian “bologna” found at those fancy-schmancy delicatessens either.

No. They’ve been serving-up heaping piles of nasty-moldy prison baloney.

So today I’d like to examine what’s really happening out there.

Now, I’m not a doctor, (but I have played one on TV), and neither is any of my crew…

…but I do have a crack team of some very smart research professionals working for me.

I’m going to pass along their findings. This is for educational purposes only. So use this thrilling info at your own risk. (You lawyers happy now? Good).

• What’s With The Lies? The road to hell is paved like this.
• How Coronavirus Is REALLY Spread: It’s bad. But it’s actually not as bad as it could be.
• Why Masks Work: Microns and Aerosols and Droplets and other stuff that’s normally boring as hell, but not so much right now.

Big Fat Fibs:

Why All The Lies?

Okay, by the time I’m done writing this sentence the situation on the ground will probably change, again.

But right now, as I type this, (eating canned sardines in my hermetically-sealed concrete bunker, donning gloves, a respirator and with disinfectant wafting through the air), it’s becoming pretty obvious that the government has been “fibbing” about masks.

Buckling to strong scientific evidence, some government officials are finally admitting that perhaps “covering your face” is a good idea for the average schmo.

And yet, (perhaps modeling the success of other coverups like Monica Lewinsky and Watergate), certain members of the government simply double-downed on the lies, continuing to advise the public not to wear face masks. (Expect someday to see them sitting in front of Congress repeating: “I do not recall”).

For example, only recently the Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Jerome Adams tweeted, “Seriously people, STOP BUYING MASKS! They are NOT effective…” but then went on to say that healthcare workers needed them.

Either Adams has been talking out of both sides of his mouth, or healthcare workers are somehow magically protected by masks that non-healthcare workers are not. (In that case, you should officially become a healthcare worker so that masks work for you too).

It seems now that this virus has spread faster than “The Blob”, Adams has finally asked the CDC to see if perhaps face masks can prevent coronavirus spread after all. (Hmmm, maybe we should look into that… right after lunch).

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the World Health Organization (who only this morning began advising folks to wear masks), only fueled the nonsense with astonishing pronouncements like this:

“Face masks do not provide adequate protection from COVID-19. The CDC does NOT currently recommend the general public use face masks.”

At the same time, the CDC stated: “CDC strongly recommends N95 face masks for healthcare workers who may be in contact with those who show symptoms of coronavirus”.

It doesn’t take a wizard to see the contradictions here, (although my brother-in-law has read that four times and still hasn’t spotted it).

Are masks effective or aren’t they?

Here’s the straight poop: Yes, they are, (and I’ll cover the boring research in just second).

So then what are they talking about? Well… their two main points have been:

1. Face masks don’t work for the average dufus, (only health care workers)…

2. The average thick-headed American is way too stupid to understand the complexities of the face mask.

According to the CDC:

“People without medical training do not know how to properly don and doff disposable respirators without potentially spreading contamination, nor are they aware of proper techniques of fitting respirators to ensure a secure seal. Therefore, to better contain the novel coronavirus outbreak, the general public should forgo the use of such devices.”

Apparently masks are so mind-boggling complicated that the average rube on the street shouldn’t even bother wearing one
(because ya ain’t got a Ph.D. in Mask-Donning, do ya pal?).

If this sounds to you like something plopping-out the backside of a bull, you’re not alone. Lots of folks are asking: What are these guys are up to?

Well, I think it’s pretty clear: The government has a secret plan to wipe out mankind and replace us silly-humans with a super-race of dedicated healthcare mutants operating out of Area 51.

It’s that… or what started out as a dumb idea and a white lie to prevent the public from hoarding masks, morphed into a series of big fat lies because certain people couldn’t just fess-up that this whole “masks don’t work” strategy was a fib from the very beginning and so now a whole lotta people are gonna die because they still can’t get their story straight.

Wait… nobody is that stupid. Not with a deadly pandemic. I’m going with the super-race of mutant healthcare workers story.

How This Bug Is REALLY Spread:

More Straight Poop.

Face masks work, (period). Science shows that they prevent the spread of coronavirus, (exclamation point).

By now most of us know the “six-foot rule”: Keep six feet away from each other because the new coronavirus spreads mostly through person-to-person contact within about a 6-foot radius. (A certain brother-in-law misunderstood that and is now terrified of anyone six-foot-tall).

Why is that? According to the Harvard Medical School, the coronavirus is primarily carried through the air in “respiratory droplets” of 10 microns to 100 microns in size.

These droplets are propelled up to 6-feet from an infected person by coughing, sneezing, talking or even just breathing, (I haven’t heard anything yet about, ahem, virus firing from the “tailpipe”).

Infected droplets can invade the lungs through your mouth, nose, and eyes — either by breathing in the droplets, or touching a surface where they landed and then touching your face.

In what’s sure to go down as the world’s greatest coronavirus quote ever, RN Anne Jacobson said:

“In normal times we are constantly breathing in other people’s spit and snot. Sounds gross, but it’s usually no big deal. But these aren’t normal times — so now it is a big deal.”

This droplet transmission turns out to be relatively good news, (if there is such a thing as “good news” during the height of a pandemic).

“Thank goodness the coronavirus does not spread like the measles virus,” says virus researcher Dr. Frederick Banacke. “The measles virus is more contagious than any virus known to science”:

That’s because measles is transmitted as an aerosol.

Droplet transmission, on the other hand, requires close proximity. Gravity usually pulls the droplets to the ground pretty quickly, hence the “6 feet of distance rule”. (I just carry around a sword. People stay back).

Aerosols:

“Aerosol” is a physics term meaning a liquid or solid (like a virus) suspended in a gas (like air).

Aerosol transmission of a virus is considered more dangerous and contagious than droplet transmission.

Droplets are spewed from people’s mouths and then fall to the ground within a few feet — while aerosols, (like Rhaegal, the dragon from Game Of Thrones), can travel across far greater distances and hang in the air causing death and destruction for far longer time periods than droplets.

The virus that causes measles, for example, (while it cannot do something as cool as breathe fire and eat people whole), CAN travel hundreds of feet from an infected person.

There are scary reports suggesting the new coronavirus can, in fact, travel and infect people as a more contagious aerosol like measles or chickenpox…

…but fortunately, “real-world” research points firmly at spit and gob-droplets as being the real culprits, leading most medical experts to conclude that the new coronavirus can exist as an aerosol only under very limited conditions — and that the aerosol transmission route is NOT what’s propelling this pandemic.

“I think the answer will be aerosolization occurs rarely, but not never,” said microbiologist and physician Stanley Perlman of the University of Iowa. “You have to distinguish between what’s possible and what’s actually happening.”

So while the verdict is still out on whether or not the coronavirus travels as an aerosol — the consensus among scientists is that aerosol transmission of the new coronavirus is possible…

…but very rare.

Whoever thought that breathing in each other’s gob-droplets would be the good news?

Why Mask Work:

Normally super-boring stuff that’s
suddenly not so boring anymore.

With the extremely high-demand for masks, hoarding and other weird stuff going on out there, (like retailers who were robbed at gunpoint for 100,000 masks), it’s becoming very difficult for average folks to obtain a reliable supply.

Very soon it could be next to impossible. If you’re somehow lucky enough to have a reliable supply of Personal Protective Equipment (“PPE”) produced by an authorized manufacturer, that’s your best choice.

But, if you cannot get a professionally manufactured and tested mask, the good news is that you CAN create your own masks from materials you already have around the house.

Although, again, homemade masks are for when you simply don’t have other options, (not like making homemade ice cream when there’s better tasting, better-looking ice cream just 10-feet away in your freezer).

The Research:

Scientists admit that even something as simple as a bandana across your mouth and nose is much better than no mask at all. (And just as this fabulous issue was being prepared for publication, the CDC finally recommended “cloth masks” for the general public).

But what materials are proven to work best?

Well, citizens across China were creating masks with kitchen towels, tissue paper, cotton fabrics from shirts and pants… and yes, even oranges.

Thankfully some researchers at Cambridge University decided to get to the bottom of what kinds of things could actually function as a mask.

So they gathered together some typical household materials (not including an orange, which probably isn’t a good choice), to determine their effectiveness.

The test involved shooting bacteria — approx 1 micron in size — at various household materials and then measuring and comparing their effectiveness to a common surgical mask.

Here’s what they discovered to be the most effective materials at capturing a 1-micron particle with the surgical mask as a control. (the paper towel was conducted in a separate study).

Not surprisingly the surgical mask outperformed any typical household materials — capturing 97% of the 1-micron bacteria.

But the good news was that (with the exception of paper towels) readily available household materials were capable of filtering out 58% to 95% of the 1-micron particles.

In the end, the vacuum cleaner bag and the dishcloth were the top-performing materials for filtering out small particles.

Despite this, however, researchers did NOT choose either of these materials for creating the best homemade masks and instead concluded that the pillowcase and the pure cotton t-shirt were the best choices. Why?

It came down to functionality. More precisely: Airflow and breathability, (because being able to actually breathe is important. Who knew?).

Airflow is an important consideration, (as my brother-in-law discovered after passing-out with a Ziploc bag over his head) because it determines how long a person can actually wear the mask.

So a dishcloth may function as a better filter, but it’s a moot point if the subject feels as if they are “suffocating” and has to remove the mask, (and perhaps expose themselves to those nasty snot-droplets).

The dishtowel and a vacuum bag were both up to twice as hard to breathe through as the surgical mask.

On the other hand, the pillowcase and t-shirt were actually easier to breathe through than the surgical mask.

So based on particle capture and breathability, the researchers concluded that cotton t-shirts and pillowcases were the best choices for homemade masks.

Okay… looking at the numbers for pure cotton and a pillowcase you may ask if 69% and 62% respectively could really be considered “effective”. (Sounds about as “effective” as the flipping a coin).

But remember scientists were testing these materials for their ability to stop 1-micron particles.

Current research strongly suggests that coronavirus infection is spread in droplets TEN TIME BIGGER — in the range of 10 to 100 microns.

This means all of these home materials are likely to be very effective at preventing the virus from entering your nose, mouth, and lungs.

It’s probably safe to say that ANY mask covering the nose and mouth is better than no mask at all, (although an orange may prove to be the exception).

If you’re interested in more, (and who doesn’t like more?), I’ve got a thorough 70-page report, Face Mask Survival Guide”, HERE.

Best part: It’s yours FREE, (and who doesn’t like free?).

I’m trying to get this out to as many people as possible so that we can save lives and keep folks from wearing oranges and Ziploc bags.

Stay Manly,

Jimbo, Editor
Man Skills

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