When I was involved in protective service situations both in the states and abroad, I had to do everything I could to keep a situation from escalating. I had to protect my VIP, and I could not go off fighting with some guy while my VIP was left unprotected. I was not allowed to cause embarrassment to my VIP by beating the crap out of someone while the VIP was trying to be diplomatic and do his or her job. So, I had to learn how to use my body language to defuse the situation before it got out of hand.

With this in mind, are you trying to develop the ability to defend yourself in a real-world self-defense situation – against a real attacker who wants to do some serious damage to you? You should because statistics show that there is an assault every 17 seconds!

In this article, I am going to focus on a critical ability you should develop as part of your effective self-defense plan. This ability involves using your body language to de-escalate a potentially violent situation as I often had to do during my protective operations.

Yes, I believe in self-defense and knowing how to fight my way out of a situation, but I am getting old and I don’t want to fight unless I absolutely have to. So, if you are serious about really wanting to learn self-defense, and not about becoming the next MMA fight champion, then you need to learn the lesson I am going to teach you in this article!

You know… being a self-defense expert is very different than being an expert in any other endeavor. What I mean is that any other expert has the luxury of scrapping whatever he or she is doing if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped it would. They can take a flawed attempt at something, re-work it, and go at it again.

You and I don’t have this luxury. In a self-defense situation, when you have to deal with a real-world attack coming from a brutal assailant who wants to beat the crap out of you, or worse, kill you, there is no “second chance.” If you don’t get it right the first time, you may never get the chance to do anything ever again!

So, you must ensure that your self-defense training has more than just step-by-step self-defense techniques. You also need to make sure that you are skilled at techniques that, if done correctly and used at the right time, with the right people, can literally stop the attack before it ever gets physical.

One of these strategies, which is the focus of this article, is the effective use of body language to control your assailant’s perceptions and consequently, his decision-making.

First, let me tell you what I am “NOT” talking about doing. It’s best explained by way of a quick story about my early days in my martial arts and self-defense career. Maybe you can relate to this story on a personal level.

One of the first things that I learned early in my training was that I needed to be ready to fight at all times. Okay. Awareness. I thought that made perfect sense.

Then I was taught that if there is a sign of trouble to take up as “ready position,” which looked like a fight position. You know the one, my hands up, my body bladed, and my legs bent, ready to spring into action.

The real clincher was when I was told to face my opponent and say these words…

“I don’t want to fight!”

Here is the thing, 55% of human communications is non-verbal, meaning you communicate very often using your body language. You can still see the contradiction here, can’t you?

Here I am, facing off against my potential opponent, standing in a combat stance and saying that I don’t want to fight. And you say, “I don’t want to fight!”

Well, this is stupid, isn’t it?

My attacker might hear the words coming out of my mouth, but he can damned well see the message that my body is sending! And, it doesn’t say, “I don’t want to fight.” What it really says is … “Bring it on!” Which is NOT a self-defense mindset!

The point I am trying to make here is: when you are trying to become competent at self-defense, you need to make sure that your words and your actions match.

If you want to have the greatest chance of controlling and neutralizing a self-defense attack, you need to make sure that what your body is saying, matches what you want him to be “hearing.”

This is the same whether you are in attack modes or defensive mode. If you’re trying to deescalate a situation, then you should stand in a position or manner that says, “I’m not a threat, and I really don’t want to fight.” You can do this and still be able to pay attention and move if you need to.

Similarly, if you are trying to convey your willingness to give him the worst day of his life if he comes at you, your body language, facial expression, and “presence” should tell him that – without you having to utter a single word.

When you get control of your body language, you will also find that you have greater control and influence over the perceptions, decisions, and actions of your attacker.

Effective self-defense requires more than just a few “karate moves.” It involves the ability to think strategically and understand how to defend yourself with as little wear-and-tear on your body as possible.

Scientifically proven tactics to control, mold and shape people’s thoughts without you having to say a word!
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