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Man Skills: Welcome to the apocalypse.

It’s official: We are spiraling down into the hellscape of a zombie apocalypse. Last week while protestors began setting fires, looting buildings, attacking police, and triggering a new wave of business shutdowns across the country…

…the egg-heads emerged from their labs with an ominous warning: A second and much worse wave of COVID infections is on the way.

This is all happening just as states were beginning their grand “reopening”, encouraging you to get out of that crusty bathrobe (and burn it) and back to work producing widgets.

Sounds like a good time to revisit the subject of face masks — one of the few simple-and-effective protections available to regular guys like us, (because even a .44 magnum don’t scare this virus).

And last I checked, there still wasn’t a cure. (Unless you want to try my brother-in-law’s secret recipe of cannabis edibles and vodka. It’ll at least make ya believe you’re immune, daddy-o).

  • The Push Back. “Hell no” to wearing masks.
  • COVID Spreading. Those evil droplets.
  • Masks: The Great Protector.

The Push Back:

Refusing To Wear A Mask.

Lots of Americans simply refuse to wear a face mask. (Although I must say I was encouraged to see most rioters conscientiously wearing masks… until I realized it was for the tear gas).

So what’s going on here? Well, there’s actually a number of reasons why folks are refusing to wear face masks, (including cannabis edibles and vodka).

1. Stomping On Civil Liberties.

Americans (the rebels that we are) are quick to react to any perceived infringements on our freedoms.

(Like when they stopped cracking a raw egg into my Orange Julius. Man, I protested that… right after my hospitalization for Salmonella… which was in no way connected).

As clinical psychologist Steven Taylor said: “People value their freedoms. They may become distressed or indignant or morally outraged when people are trying to encroach on their freedoms.”

In one extreme example, a Family-Dollar security guard was shot and killed after he asked a customer to put on a mask before entering the store, (because requiring a face mask is way worse than murder).

But as an Oklahoma city manager said: “Many cite the mistaken belief the requirement [to wear a mask] is unconstitutional. No law or court supports this view.”

In response, my neighbor Ralph is now busy writing up the 28th Amendment, (or 11th Commandment, either way): “Thou Shalt Not Require No Mask”. (That double-negative is killing his messaging).

2. The “Scaredy-Cat” Syndrome.

Here’s another reason why people won’t wear a mask. According to David Abrams, a clinical psychologist (and a bunch of other stuff that would require two boring pages to explain, so let’s just say he’s a really, really smart guy)…

…wearing a mask can be perceived as a symbol of weakness and fear.

As Abrams points out: “Putting on that mask is about as blatant as saying, ‘Hey, I’m a scaredy-cat’ “.

It always reverts back to boys on the playground, hmmm?

I’m just wondering if this will catch on in the world of skydiving too? (“So you’re wearing a parachute, huh chicken?”).

3. Confusing Babble From “Experts”.

I could stand on a soapbox and rant about this, but I won’t. (Well… maybe a little).

The Surgeon General, the CDC, and representatives from the WHO, (the health guys, not Pete Townsend) — all of them at one time told the public NOT to wear face masks.

In fact, the Surgeon General actually demanded that people stop purchasing face masks because “they are not effective”. (Tip: Never tweet drunk).

Then, over the course of a few months, that position changed 180-degrees. They are now recommending face masks for anyone who goes out in public.


Apparently these “health-experts” were directed to the mountains of indisputable scientific evidence (they were helped with the big words) showing that even a simple homemade face mask made by your half-blind sister-in-law is much better than nothing.

Medical-grade surgical masks are even better — proven in the lab and out in the field to be very effective at preventing COVID infection, (so there).

4. A mask is nasty and uncomfortable.

I am sooo on-board with this.

Frankly, I hate wearing a mask. The constant adjusting and fidgeting and huffing back in my own bad breath is just plain annoying.

Also, wearing a mask when others are not is kinda like being on a nude beach with all your clothes on, (which actually I’m okay with).

The situation is changing, at least here in California, (where the nudie beaches are at). Most folks are now wearing a mask in public — so it’s no longer “weird” to be wearing pants… er, I mean a mask.

But no matter, I wear a face mask not for me, but for others, (how noble you are, dear sir).

You see, my wife has asthma. So does my grandson. Taking the chance and getting either of them sick… well, if that happened my wife would make sure she took me with them.

How The Bug Is Spread:

Those Nasty Droplets.

Some of this I covered in a previous Man-Skills, but (much like Disneyland) it’s worth revisiting because I’ve upgraded some of the rides, (though the Matterhorn is “closed for repairs”… again).

According to the Harvard Medical School, the coronavirus is primarily carried through the air in “respiratory droplets” of 10 microns to 100 microns in size.

These droplets are propelled on average 6-feet (sometimes more) from an infected person by coughing, sneezing, talking, or even just breathing. (On the other hand my wife’s 190-decibel atomic sneeze fires droplets over 22-miles).

Infected droplets can invade the lungs through your mouth, nose, and eyes — either by breathing in the droplets or (more rarely) touching a surface where they landed and then touching your face.

According to the CDC, getting a COVID infection from a contaminated surface is “not thought to be the main way the virus spreads”, (which would be comforting news if it weren’t coming from the same guys who were just telling folks not to wear face masks).

RN Anne Jacobson sums it up nicely:

“In normal times we are constantly breathing in other people’s spit and snot. Sounds gross, but it’s usually no big deal. But these aren’t normal times — so now it is a big deal.”

That’s still my favorite quote of all time.

Covering Your Pie Hole:

Why Masks Work.

Scientists admit that even something as simple as a bandana across your mouth and nose is much better than no mask at all, (although a bandana is NOT an effective liquid barrier, which turns out to be kinda important when diseases like COVID are spread in liquid droplets).

Okay… so how is it possible that a t-shirt or bandana can stop a COVID virus so microscopically tiny (only about 1/10th of a micron) that it could easily pass through any piece of cloth?

It’s because widely accepted research indicates that COVID is spread in droplets ranging from 10 to 100 microns in size, which you couldn’t see with the naked eye (there’s that word again) but is still considered huge in the virus world.

This is actually good news because it means even a cotton shirt could be very effective at preventing the virus from entering your nose, mouth, and lungs.

So while it’s probably safe to say that ANY mask covering the nose and mouth is better than no mask at all — your best choice is to get your hands (and face) on some medical-grade masks.

If you’re looking for some high-quality face masks, I have some ready to go in my California warehouse, (right next door to the nudie beach).

As a hotlist member, I’ll even give you one 10-pack for free.

>> Medical Grade Face Masks HERE. <<

Stay Manly,

Jimbo, Editor
Man Skills

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